What if the dog you get isn't the one you'd hoped for? I'm sure you're thinking 'I don't have any expectations. I'd love my dog no matter what'. But the reality is, many people struggle with this daily.
There are a variety of reasons you might decide to get a dog. Perhaps your kids have been begging you for years and it's finally a good time, or maybe you're looking for an exercise partner or simply companionship. But what if the dog you adopt decides it doesn't like kids? Or it's terrified of traffic and doesn't want to leave the house? Or maybe it has so much anxiety that it won't let YOU leave the house. What if the dog you end up with isn't like the dog you had growing up?
What if, as soon as it enters your home, it turns your entire world upside down?
The reality is, you don't always get the dog you want; the one you pictured trotting alongside you, off leash, ignoring all the sights and sounds of the world around it. When your expectations aren't met, it's normal to feel a sense of frustration. You find yourself asking 'Why me?' or 'What did I do wrong?'. I saw this often during my time working for the SPCA. Behaviour related surrenders were very common. People would be in tears wondering what they could have done differently. Most families don't have the time, money and patience required to work through these extreme challenges.
Dogs are generally more anxious these days due to sensory overload caused by their environment; more people moving about, more cars on the road, more sounds, sights and smells. They also cost a lot more than they used to; the rate of inflation affects their food, accessories, and medical costs. Having a dog in 2024 is VERY different than it was in 1995. Like everything else, we need to adjust our expectations to match our reality.
My heart goes out to the families who struggle daily with their dogs; those who just wanted companionship and instead find themselves having to change their entire routine to help support their new family member. It takes a ton of time and a ridiculous amount of patience. Tears are not uncommon either and it's ok if you need to step outside for a good cry every once in a while. Your dog will be waiting to lick your tears when you get back.
During these difficult moments, it's important to acknowledge that your dog is not doing this on purpose. He or she is obviously struggling with something and you're the one they look to for support. It might not always seem fair and it's a big burden to carry, but I'd like to think that there's a reason for it. You might not believe in that kind of thing but trust me when I say this; when you finally learn how to live harmoniously with your dog, that bond is unshakeable. Often the most difficult dogs turn out to be the most loving towards their people because they've learned how to speak the same language.
It's great to have expectations, but it's important to remember that they are not promises. Adopting a dog is a big responsibility and may be a lot more work than you had anticipated. Do your research, find support, and above all else, give yourself some grace. Your dog will love you more for it.
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